Pastel colours and drying laundry line the rows of houses along coastline of Riomaggiore

Cinque Terre and Riomaggiore: The Italian coast shines in summer

Italy's a special place, but you already know this. Enjoy the food, look at the women, and don't complain about anything.

Italy’s a special place, but you already know this.

It’s practically its own continent, which you’ll learn if you travel anywhere else. There are Europeans – and they even include the English – and then there are Italians. The men wear underwear instead of board shorts and their’s as slicked as a cow’s tongue.

The woman are beautiful by osmosis. Their people know how to look like they’ll be in a photograph 50 years from now – even the ones who aren’t really from there.

It’s hard to tell which women are beautiful Italians and which women are beautiful because they’re Italian. There’s that feeling here – like everything changes colour and everything smells a little different – and the woman aren’t immune. When they arrive – from Spain, from Canada, from Bulgaria, it doesn’t matter – they become Italians. Their hair falls a little, their smile shapes a little, and their eyes are tired and cute and made for morning.

There’s something ‘tuff about an Italian chick, too. (Yes, I said chick. This is the Internet. I can pretend it’s still the 90’s.) That ability to wear a sundress with perfectly brown, bouncy hair and that thin smile one day. The ability to forgo it and get that dress dirty the next.

——————————

Vernazza, in Cinque Terre.

Vernazza, in Cinque Terre.

Kolby Solinsky in Cinque Terre

Me, rock bathing.

The harbo(u)r in Riomaggiore.

The harbo(u)r in Riomaggiore.

Yellow umbrellas line Monterosso al Mare, Italy.

Yellow umbrellas line Monterosso al Mare, Italy.

——————————

Cinque Terre is Italy’s Mos Eisley. (20 points if you understood that without clicking the link.)

I’d expect to find a refugee or two, a traveling band, an aging couple trying to regain youth on the rocks with a pizza and a bottle of wine in their hands… and, worst of all, Australians.

Swim. Sunbathe. Suntan. Sun-anything. Do it all day long.

Then, get a restaurant’s bottle of wine for 10 bones (that’s bucks) and enjoy the first sip, because you’ll notice right away just how good that house red is. (Screw white wine. Do you want apple juice or alcohol? Don’t come to Europe if you don’t want to go to Europe.)

There are five towns in Cinque Terre, which will be an obvious fact when you understand what Cinque Terre means – Five Lands.

Stay in Riomaggiore. It’s probably the most beautiful, but it’s absolutely the most accessible. The seagulls aren’t shy, the houses are authentic – don’t expect to find Maui’s Hilton in Cinque Terre, and be happy about that – and there is a mile of ocean front lined with topless women.

(We did Mar Mar hostel, by the way. I’d recommend it. It looked like Lulu Rooms was bumpin’ just fine enough, too.)

Before you go and say, “Well, not all topless is good topless”, just be thankful that complaint is an option. There are naked women, and they’re not afraid to be naked. This isn’t torture.

Vernazza is the postcard town. Monterosso is the sandcastle stop. The other two villages? I’ve never been, but I’m sure they’re just fine.

Like I’ve said all along… this is Italy. Don’t analyze it too much.

——————————

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Emergency crews respond to crash on Elk Lake Drive

Emergency vehicles are blocking access to the area

Peninsula farm stands open for business with COVID-19 restrictions

Growers hopeful shoppers will support local farms

Victoria traffic stop yields drugs, case full of weapons

Police seize firearms, swords and flares

Capital Regional District prepares to reopen regional campgrounds

Camping will look different at Island View, Sooke Potholes, Jordan River sites

Youth riding high after Sidney re-opens skate park

Skate park, tennis courts, volleyball court and multi-use court proved popular on the weekend

B.C. legislature coming back June 22 as COVID-19 emergency hits record

Pandemic restrictions now longer than 2017 wildfire emergency

POLL: Do you agree with the provincial government’s decision to increase the minimum wage?

B.C.’s lowest-paid workers will be getting a few more dollars to try… Continue reading

B.C. businesses ‘can’t shoulder burden’ of COVID-19 sick pay

Trudeau’s plan should be tied to federal emergency aid

RCMP remind public to leave dogs chilling at home on hot days

Dogsafe has designed a Dog in a Hot Car Responder Checklist

Another Asian giant ‘murder hornet’ found in Lower Mainland

This is the farthest east the invasive species has been found so far

B.C. girl left temporarily paralyzed by tick bite sparks warning from family

Mom says parents need to check their kids when they go camping

PHOTOS: Loved ones reunite at an oasis on closed U.S.-Canada border in Surrey

Officials closed the park in mid-March over coronavirus concerns

Feds delay national action plan for missing and murdered Indigenous women

Meanwhile, the pandemic has exacerbated the violence facing many Indigenous women and girls

B.C.’s essential grocery, hardware store employees should get pandemic pay: retail group

Only B.C.’s social, health and corrections workers are eligible for top-ups

Most Read