‘Twas the night before Christmas at municipal hall
Neither staff nor directors were present at all
The statements were crafted by council with care
In hopes that their discontent soon would be aired
The mayor was nestled at home in his bed
while visions of change danced ‘round in his head
The veterans all fuming and warning of dangers
‘bout what would transpire when they re-entered chambers.
When out in the public arose such a clatter
about severance packages. What was the matter?
“Our taxes, our cash should be spent on the roads
And sidewalks and sewage aren’t yet up to code”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But an Oak Bay-bound herd of unkempt urban deer
“That 30-head cull hasn’t fixed things one bit”
Said a lead-footed driver, his horn in a fit
With the speed of a sloth, local leaders convened
With a promise to do more in 2015
“Now Sewage! Now, Food Scraps! Now, Climate Change Measures!
On, McKenzie Car Overpass, commutes should be better!
“To the CRD boardroom! To the halls of the leg!
Now study and study and study to death!”
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of small reindeer hooves
As I drew in my head, and was turning around
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound
“I had trouble finding this District at all”
said Santa, his iPhone map causing a glow
“Your address said Victoria, but Saanich it is
Just what in the hell is the purpose of this?”
His questions continued, his cheeks turning red
“There are 13 town halls?” he laughed, scratching his head
I ventured my best to explain why it was
But the big man just stood there, his mind in a fuzz
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight
“2015’s a New Year, and you’ll need it alright!”
-borrowed in part from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, Clement Clarke Moore (1799 – 1863)